Dearest People of the Blog,
"And what desert greater shall there be, than that which lies in the courage and the confidence nay the charity of receiving" -- Kahlil Gibran
If I accept the gift do I owe the giver?
It goes like this, if I accept your best wishes and flowers on my birthday do I have to send you flowers on your birthday?
If you give me oral sex do I have to give you oral sex?
If you give me a back rub, do I have to give you one too?
So many of us are frightened to receive because we are frightened of obligation.
What is true is that is that it is not often possible or desirable to "return the favor".
Here is the most common list of why people don't receive in their lives:
Are you concerned with what someone will think of you if you do not reciprocate?
Are you concerned about what you will think of yourself if you do not reciprocate?
Do you think that most people have ulterior motives when they want to do something for you?
Do you feel under deserving of anyone doing something for you?
Are you afraid that you will have to do something you don't want to do if you let someone do something for you?
An experienced receiver does not fear this idea of being indebted to the giver because the dance of giving and receiving goes back and forth --- sometimes receiving and sometimes giving at other times.
It is only when you don't have practice at both that it is easy to be confused about what your needs and rights are.
I hope there is something here for you, Pamela Madsen