Dearest people of the blog,
Here is my “naked” truth:
"Sex Appeal” is not one thing or one way. Our sexuality is a holistic and whole body experience that is unique in it’s expression from human to human. It would be a huge relief if we could all stop pretending that we have sexuality all figured out and that we have all the answers. Sexuality is not geometry; it’s a living container. And it is found in all of our bodies at every age, shape and size.
So if we don’t have sexuality and body image “all figured out”, how do we support women who are an amalgamation of all of this grow, explore, feel safe, and heal their relationship with Eros?
How do we present to ourselves naked?
When I release my erotic self from society’s constrained container of how I am “supposed to be”, my life flows with color and a kind of energy that heightens and sensitizes and strengthens all of my experiences.
When I am able to find this place within myself and release all of the myths around my erotic desirability – I am able to show up in the body that I am in – with incredible hotness that I feel first and then I share with my partner. Erotic life force energy (sexiness) flows from the inside out.
Try not to roll your eyes. 😂
If “others” are stuck in what they think I should look like, then they don’t get to have me. I much prefer this idea of inviting “others” to meet me in my own unique expression of my sexuality and my physical beauty. I’m a gift. And it took me some time to really heal the wounds of society and really own that place inside myself. This place of erotic confidence did not come easily.
Most of us come from a similar perspective when it comes to sexuality and self image.
The experience of our bodies, our self image, and our sexuality often gets lost in translation. Instead of saying that all sexuality and all bodies is about this or that – let’s recognize that even the word “sexuality” and “self image” has layers of meaning built into it.
We are an amalgamation of desire, life experience, bodies, gender, subconscious urges, shame, sensations, and behaviors. Parts of our sexuality spring up from us organically, and some parts are shaped by our culture, religion, and even our language.
I have come to believe that the women themselves have all of the information that they need deeply held inside of them, they just need the space and the space holders to help them unlock it. We need to be able to heal the wounds and strip away the stories that keep being told to us even in the stories that are meant to heal us! Sometimes, that calls for women to be naked together. And I am not talking about women engaging in some kind of group sex orgy. Even spending time in a Korean Spa can be very healing for women. We need to see each others real bodies so we can open to the beauty of our own.
It’s time to take back our own “Naked” truth. As women we have come to distrust that power which rises from our deepest and non-rational knowledge. Yes! This is about the body! This is “Non-Rational Knowledge”. We have to let go of the stories that we have been told and allow ourselves to connect back to our bodies.
We have been warned against this our entire lives by a world based on cultural perceptions and desires – which somehow women have taken into our bodies as our own reality. We are taught to fear our depth, and women are shut down to examine the possibilities of it within themselves.
But our bodies at every age and presentation are filled with our erotic energy. This offers a well of replenishment and a proactive force to the women who do not fear what it can hold for them.
Do not succumb to the belief that your reflection of me is who I am.
When women reveal themselves to themselves as hot, sexy, raw, and wild it is a provocative and radical act filled with power.
I hope that there is something here for you.
Loving you from here, Pamela Madsen