The Revolutionary Cycle of a Grown Ass Woman

First there is the Big Bang.

Sometimes, the birth of a Grown Ass Woman begins in a great big shake up. There we are minding our own business, living our everyday normal life when it happens. We let go of marriages, our lover dumps us, we get fired, or get bored to a state of unbearable numbness. The big bang could even be something like an accident or the death of loved one or illness. Maybe we even lose our homes or money. Or decide that we cannot live where we are living for one minute longer. Sometimes, the wake up call may be softer in appearance; more like a whisper. No one but yourself may know that nothing will ever be the same again. Shit happens.

Then there is The Retreat.

We get thrown out of the saddle; absolutely rocked out of our everyday pattern and we decide to open our own voices and pay attention to our needs. Dare I say it? We decide to put our own needs first. The first thing many of us do is take time off and retreat. Yes; we go “Under The Tuscan Sun”, or perhaps “Eat, Pray, Love”. Some of us literally need to run and literally retreat somewhere that will help us get back to ourselves. We may start all Deepak Chopra, or in a pretzel yoga back bend, or find ourselves at a sexuality retreat; perhaps all of it. I did. We need to somehow shift our regular way of being; and we want to do it in a big way. Maybe the Grown Ass Woman starts with their relationship to their bodies and their sexuality which makes sense since that is their engine and if that's not working well; their creative energy will be stalled. There is this claiming of "It's my body".

This is a risk taking time with no guarantee. The only thing she is sure of is that she must do something different. I have seen women quit their jobs; sell their homes, relocate, and climb Mount Fiji. She is ready for the great big life adventure and it does not exist in her comfort zone. There may be only one thing that she is sure of; and that is that she is leaving her old life behind in some way. She will never be the same again.

Finding Her Path.

This is the period where she rebirths herself. She is no longer that woman who pulls up her big white panties. Now she has on her shit kicker boots. While she has been on retreat she has been reunited with her body and her soul voice. She has figured out her mission and the next steps for living her great big colorful life. She has vision boarded her soul and is no longer stuck. Some people call it finding your purpose, or knowing your calling, maybe it's about living an entirely new existence or changing the world. Maybe both.

Grown Ass Woman Boot Camp or Getting it Done!

I love this part. Now that our Grown Ass Woman has figured out what she wants more than anything in the world it's time to drive that train and build your team of supporters. Surround yourself with cheerleaders and sit your ass down and clear the work space.

It's time to write that book, take that training, open that practice, or take that trip around the world. A Grown Ass Woman now has her mission and it's to change the way she has been living and even perhaps impact the world. She may need to raise money; build that new business and create things like a website. Many Grown Ass Women meet other Grown Ass Women on their retreats and start their new path with their sisters. She develops a daily practice of self care, which means not only taking care of the basics, but she has figured out how to give herself pleasure on a regular basis.

Warning! Screw The U Turn:

Now it's possible that somewhere since the Big Bang and the Retreat our Grown Ass Woman may fall back into her old ways. Let's face it, radically changing our lives is really hard work even though it is exciting. There could be set backs. Our Grown Ass Woman may begin to doubt her mission and herself. She may complicate trying to fix that old tired broken relationship or going back to work in a field that was slowly killing her. After all, life was “easier then”.

Fear may creep in. This is the time for some extra self care. Take that second retreat, reach for your friends, grab a coach. This is the time to dig in and not back out. Grown Ass Women, may need to go shopping, get laid, eat chocolate or take a nap. It's okay; do it. But no U Turns. Trust yourself. It all has to happen in perfect timing, and sometimes things don't always work out the way we think they will. You may have to restart or change course. Life doesn't always go in a straight line. Actually, mostly it doesn't. But somehow, if you keep yourself committed to your mission – you will get there.

The Grown Ass Woman Has Arrived

Just like that tired old metaphor of the caterpillar going into the chrysalis and emerging as that magnificent butterfly – you will. All of that hard work to re-create yourself will pay off. Yes, you will come through fear and find your courage to live the life you know that you can have. Once a Grown Ass Woman is focused on creating the life she wants to have; she is calling in her vision and things will start to come to life. I call it “calling in grace”.

Lean into your possibility, shift and magic is waiting.

Loving you from here,

Pamela Madsen