Your sexuality is a delicious journey and I have some ideas to support you on its road.
BEND: Re-Define and Re-Imagine Relationship There is nothing like learning to bend and not break. And I am not talking about learning how to do a yoga backward flip in bed as much fun as that could be. My assumption is that if you are reading this, you have done some living. And what is true is that you don't need the same things that you once needed in your mid or late 30's and so on. For instance, you may not need a partner to raise a family with. You may still be happy with your primary partner but bored sexually. How can you re-define and re-imagine your current relationship or create a new one? Change your expectations around who your perfect love and sex partner may be. Try letting go of old beliefs about what you need to be happy in love and sex.
PRACTICE SEX: Re-Claim Your Libido It's true what they say: "Use it or Lose it". I know plenty of women in their 20's and 30's that are erotically shut down for many reasons. From abuse, cultural shaming and physical insults such as infertility. And if you are over 40, you may be in peri-menopause or menopause. Or not. From the day we are born we all have to deal with physical and emotional changes. But what if I told you that this could honestly be the hottest time of your life? That you can evolve hotter after after each obstacle that comes before you. I know that to be true. No matter who you are....if you don't practice being sexual you will numb out instead of firing up. Self Pleasure, buy sex toys. Read erotica. Just do it. Vibrators, lubricants, hormone replacement therapies and anticipation are a must! What we actually do about sex, relationships, our relationship with our bodies and the choices we make in regard to our sexuality are crucial. We need to practice being erotic.
Re-Imagine Your Sexuality: Do you flirt? Do you put on clothing that makes you feel hot? Who would you like to be sexually? How can you evolve there? There is so much out there in the world to support women all women to re-imagine, re-define and re-claim their sexuality. Consider working with a sexuality coach or go on a sexuality retreat created just for women. They do exist.
Move the Fuck On: I know. Not very classy. But this idea of throwing this phrase at unpleasant situations, relationships, or ideas can be very freeing. Just say it out loud: "Move the Fuck On"! And it fits so many occasions! Good bye old belief about what I deserve in life! I'm moving the Fuck On! See you later, unappreciative boyfriend! "I'm moving the Fuck on! See you later 2019, I'm moving the Fuck On! You know, it even can work with the "WAH WAH WAH" voice in your head that tells you that you are not enough, not loved, appreciated or seen. Even THAT voice. Sometimes, you just need to just "Move the Fuck on" in order to feel hot and sexy in your own body.
Funny how things that change overnight often are years in the making. Earthquakes for instance. Plates deep beneath the surface move, shift, bump and grind for eons. All that subterranean actions sends up warning tremors, little rumbles that are often too small to notice. Until the big one hits, the one that shatters windows, brings down buildings, and snaps bridges in two.
You can be an an erotic earth quake.
You really can evolve.
I hope there is something here for you.
Loving you from here, Pamela Madsen